I hate it. I spent the whole day thinking over and over the right words to say when I had to face him the other night. And I hate it. I hate myself for being silent all throughout the night. Perhaps I could do more practice for me to throw out those lines or some super extra mega heavy dose of courage might help. How could I not tell him what I feel? About him, about me and about us. Why do I keep on smiling when I with him when all the while I've been troubled with what I feel.
But sometimes it comes to my mind that what I feel does not really matter to him. Maybe, this illusion of a promising love story only exists in my part of the river and eventually would never come true.
Or maybe what I need to do is to face the fact that all along, I knew that there was nothing special between the two of us. Just a couple of uncommitted paid sex and nothing more.
December 23, 2008 at 6:40 AM
dont lose hope ate...kaya mo yan...love will come...don't worry!
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