UNSATURATED FAT

From IRAQ with LOVE

2009-04-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

I was checking my blog when I noticed in my Live Traffic Feed that someone from Iraq just visited my page. Well, I just want to share it. LOL.

Hot! Literally Hot!

2009-03-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

It's a scorching 33^o C here in Davao today. Its been this hot for almost a week now, and forecasts say that hot weather will continue for a couple of days or more. Well, I think summer is just around the corner.

Boyet, Go To Hell!

2009-03-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't heard of the name Boyet Fajardo not until yesterday when my cousin told me about this faggot who made a scene in one of the Duty Free stores here in the country. My cousin though wasn't good enough in picking up the details of the news, even missing out the name of that particular designer. So, I googled it up and to my surprise a long list of blogs and forums are already dedicated to this bitch's intolerable attitude.

When I first heard of the news, I instantly got irritated on how he acted. More so, when I finally got a chance to peep on the CCTV recording of the incident (thanks to youtube). Just look on how pitiful the male attendant was; kneeling for forgiveness to a mistake he didn't do just to keep to his job. Shame on you Boyet Fajardo.

And in the first place, the name Boyet Fajardo doesn't ring a bell. So whether the ID requirement was SOP or not, his fake and "effort-full" VIP status is just the same when our househelp goes to Duty Free to shop. You're not Imelda, Mr. Fajardo.

There is no point in trying to clean up your name. You blew it Boyet. You have just won a backstage pass of the movie,'Business going Bankrupt'. 'Cause no one's buying your line anymore. Mr. Fajardo, have you heard the word BOYCOTT?

Some Photos!

2009-03-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

Nostalgic

2009-03-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

This morning I was looking for an old document I have in my PC when I came across this folder full of raw photos of our yearbook class picture. Then it came to me that a year has just passed since we parted ways March of last year.

After our graduation, we had different career moves. Many, decided to work in Manila and a few, including me, stayed here in my laid-back Davao. Just recently, I have stumbled upon a few classmates from college. I learned from them how our other friends are doing now.

Thank God, no one has died yet. Two of my girl classmates got married. Two or three went on to law school. While a big number work in contact centers. The idea of a class reunion keeps on popping-up, but hey, we're not that old yet. Three or four more years, let's just see.

There are many fishes in the sea...

2009-03-22T00:51:00.000-07:00

Our fish tank was empty for almost a year. A year before that, my older brother got hooked on raising his own Flowerhorn. The fish, I tell you, is not that aesthetically gifted. It has this huge lump on the head and black stains all over the sides of the fish's body. The stains, according to my brother, are supposed to form some Chinese characters which I really doubt to be true. But my brother would really insist. And for that, I call him delusional.

He eventually got tired staring at the fish. The Flowerhorn was given to his friend and I have no news about the creature since then. The fish tank was left empty not until two weeks ago that he decided to raise Orandas, two Golds and one pretty in Black.

I really like the fishes now. They look so regal when they move around. Perhaps, adding two more Orandas would complement the still big space of the fish tank.

Rico Blanco, Ely Buendia and Rocksteddy

2009-03-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

Globe Telecom was one of the major sponsors of the 72nd Araw ng Dabaw celebration. For the week-long festivities, the communication giant flew in the country's hottest bands for a night full of great music. Rocksteddy, Rico Blanco and Pupil (the new band of ely buendia) took Davao with a big bang. Too bad, I did not make it to the show for some very important reasons. I had the chance though of taking some photos of some avid fans taking their turns in one of the ticket outlets in town.

Kayod, Kayod...

2009-03-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping myself busy with work lately; going around town interviewing some not so popular personalities. The job however has recently become a headache. I am burdened with the task of making inspiring-slash-interesting stories out of some very bland-slash-plain celebrity wannabes.

Well, save for the person whose photos appear above. Aside from the way he seats for an interview, Wally (not his real name), is a dance choreographer and, believe it or not, he was jailed before for about seven months by committing two-counts of frustrated murder. Knowing his quote and quote gloomy past, had me think twice of making my moves in between his legs.

Twisted!

2009-03-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

I wish we could undo life and had it reformat the way we like it to be. Where one could easily push backspace or have his/her life justified. But apparently, there is no right-click nor a cascading list of options available. Life is completely different from our personal computers at home.It would never be on a WYSIWYG format (what you see is what you get).

I want to apologize for not updating my blog for quite a long time. I had personal issues that I have to attend to. And seeing and reading my blog would somehow make it more difficult for me to move on. Yes. To move on. But I guess its easier said than done.

I'm writing this now in an almost empty internet cafe. Weird, but the silence of the room makes me feel more lonely. Not alone, but lonely. I don't know why. But I really, honestly, feel lonely tonight. Something is missing. Something.

I Have Nothing to Write

2009-01-08T05:52:00.000-08:00

It got me. My laziness I mean. I'm just too tired to think of something that I can write about. My day was a drag for a fact. Woke up at six to rush the material for tomorrow's airing. Went home after lunch. Did some blog reading. By late afternoon, Weng, a close friend, went to the house to use my brother's PC. I got tired. Took a little nap for two hours. By eight, Weng and I ate dinner together. A little talk. My other gay friends, Jonnel and Ovit came by. A little more talk. Then went home. Nothing special really happened. And as the rain is pouring heavy outside, I think I leave my day this way. Dry.

Photo: Someone, they call Joseph

The Walk, First Time Series>>>

2009-01-06T09:05:00.000-08:00

Jing went to sleep early while Ovit was no where to be found. And so just last night, the task of scouting the city's streets and narrow pathways of gorgeous boys were all in my feet and those of Brian's.

Just past 11 we took the familiar route around downtown. Me and Brian brawled the humid night and sifted the silent streets fresh from the holiday exodus. We easily glided our way around the blocks with the hope to tame a creature in this place we call, the jungle of men.

But like all the other walks we took, we realized that we are not alone. Our chums from a not-so-far-away land also took the yellow brick road.

Those who take the walk need not explain. As the gathering itself is the ultimate justification of lost souls, all weary and tired of their superiors' fancy.

Honestly, I enjoy the walk. Not the walk itself, which I tell you drains me sometimes, but I enjoy the experience that goes with it. Let's just call the streets our very own treadmill with a little sensual twist.

Well, aside from the thrill of meeting/molesting men who posed as willing victims to thirsty vampires of our kind, the walk itself is a way of replenishing one's parched existence. As we walk, we do not only move our limbs. We cease the fleeting moment to catch-up with each other's lives. We fill the gaps which set us apart. We try to be one. We tell each of our stories as if they are chants to attract luck.

But when it was time for me and Brian to rest as we were almost half-way in our journey, it came to me that Brian and Ovit were with me when I took my first walk. There I met this average looking guy who I had sex with in a public rest room.

That was three years ago and until now, I still find pleasure in this very addicting midnight hobby - the walk.

To end this entry let me share to you a poem (below) and a photo (above). A poem writtten by J. Neil C. Garcia, the editor of the Ladlad Series. The photo; a guy I met along this avenue about a month ago. He introduced himself as Leo.

I'm Tired of the Seduction of Boys

I'm tired of the seduction of boys
touching crotches with brown careless hands,
the smiles thrown too easily,
the moist and lip-licking tongues.
On jeepneys they sidle up close,
tap your side with an errant finger, or footsy
under rheumaticky expressions of women
dogged by too much dust to care.
By the basketball courts
on streets forced into blindness by joy,
they sling creamywhite tank-tops
over shoulders, croon and preen like
fabled magnificent birds.
The gamy smell of armpits,
the shrill uncurling hairs.
Boys laid out to sweat
and be odorous in the sun:
of their tight and sour skins I'm cloyed beyond
redemption. I've tired of the concupiscent moments
of hearing the rush of blood
into my body's cavernous pockets:
of squeezing shut the dull, exclusive pain
of a throbbing, pig-headed erection.
I'm unmoved by boys
and their penises that fill my mouth
with a promise of red sunsets
bursting like bubblegum dreams, tasteful
as sweetmeats gone stale.
Perhaps it's time
to stop being much to swift to spot
in a crowd shuffling downcast and lonely.
Perhaps, it's my turn to do them a good turn,
to throw a smile and meekly touch the crotch,
flick out the dark assuming tongue,
and do the seducing
for a little, spare change.

Random: More Videos!

2009-01-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

Let's say I already have a substantial experience being inside gay bars in the Philippines. But no matter where I go, be it in Manila or in Cebu or even here in laidback Davao, the bars never fail to surprise me with their chronic routines. A dim stage with men clad with almost nothing to nothing at all are worshiped by their patrons while dancing sensualy to your favorite tunes.

Cream

Black Costume

Polka

Random: Personality Test

2009-01-04T05:17:00.000-08:00

iPersonic will help you to determine your personality type in less than 5 minutes. Get to know yourself better. And find what you need to be happier. Start now!

I took mine and here's the result.

thanks meow for the link....

Random: It's About Time!

2009-01-04T02:22:00.000-08:00

I just to share some of the videos I collected online. Enjoy!

Jomar

Top Hat

Tarzan

Bridal Shower

Random: Brand New!

2009-01-03T00:18:00.000-08:00

I want my first blog entry for this year to be 'happy'. A little break from my previous posts which have been a bit heavy to read. It has been very frustrating for my part to end 2008 that way. But since it's a new year, I want to open it with a bang!

Perhaps to write a list of the good things which happened to me last year. A quick recall of the many firsts of my young life and of course my little achievements for the past year.

1. FINISHING MY THESIS. I planned the whole of my last year in college around this one. Thanks Microsoft.

2. A COLLEGE DEGREE. After five years of hard work and sleepless nights I finally graduated from college last year.

3. MY FIRST JOB. I tried working in a contact center in Central Visayas after graduation. I had fun in the beginning but I eventually lost my appetite for this kind of work. I went AWOL (4. FIRST AWOL) on my second month.

5. FIRST TIME LIVING IN A DIFFERENT CITY. It was a learning experience being alone and outside of your comfort zone. Although for a very short time i had the opportunity living in a house with strangers, and sharing a room with someone other than my brothers.

6. BEING PART OF THE UNEMPLOYED WORK FORCE. I hated the feeling of doing nothing for a couple of months. But c'mon, give the guy a little vacation :)

7. FIRST ROAD TRIP. While waiting for a job opportunity, I had the chance to work part time for a small company that handles corporate events. And one of my job assignments included a road show within Greater Southern Mindanao. 5 cities in 5 days. wooohhh!!!

8. MY BIG BREAK. I really did not expect it to come but when I was offered to write (the whole script is done in Cebuano) and direct my own local TV show, I did not think twice.

Random: What Does Straight Men Teach Me?

2008-12-31T23:47:00.000-08:00

On New Year's eve I received a message from my Prince. He was asking if he could see me that night just in case he'll miss the last boat out to his island. Reading the message on my phone was very hypnotic, and all I could do was to say yes without a single trace of hesitation. But after hours of waiting, he didn't show up.

I thought of many things to excuse him of not showing up. Perhaps he was able to take the boat but his phone was out of coverage area. Or he may have thought that he have already informed me which in fact he did not. The list of possibilities is long, and I'll take everything on it just for him.

While trying to justify what happened, which I always do, it came to me that just the other night we were together. I watched him finished beer bottles over bottles while talking about his ex-girlfriend and their failed relationship. And the reason why he's drinking to death was because he love her still. And worst, he was crying all through out.

I stayed pretending to be sorry for what he's going through. But honestly, at the back of my mind, I wanted to leave. More than being an emotional sponge, I felt like I have evolved into an insensitive person. Callous of my feelings. And I loath myself for this.

It hurts knowing that we're not on the same page. But it hurts more not being able to comprehend reality.

Now, what does straight men teach me? The answer is simple; they teach me not to learn anything from them, so that if I will fall, I just go back to the cycle. And wait 'til the next person whom I'll share my world of illusions and promises.

Random: A Letter

2008-12-31T06:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Self,

It is quite odd that you'll be writing and reading this letter both at the same. Ridiculous it seems but I honestly feel that this is the best way to get the message across.

We know that you've been through a lot the past year. You've had your own moments of extreme happiness, made life changing decisions, explored a completely different world and even saw yourself at the lowest point of your young life. All these, is who you are.

But there's more when the new year comes. It may be an answer to your lifetime wish or an unexpected event you never thought would happen. Things which will make you either happy, sad or indifferent. All those, is who you will be.

Isn't it amazing how beautiful life is? It's so beautiful that you never get a hold of it. That no matter how you try to master life you always end up in the prologue. But do not be disappointed, this is because life wants you to grow.

There is no such thing as the end of the road. You have to keep going. Walk the life that you crave for. Savor each step. Learn how to glide the mystery that they call life. And remember, that each step you make comes a footprint - a mark that will become history.

Don't forget to open the window of love in your heart. It will guide you through. It will seek what's best for you.

Remember your family and friends. Be a self that warrants nothing in return. Be grateful of the times you've laughed until death or the times when you shared tears. No man is an island, I tell you.

Face life with an open mind. There is no right nor a wrong decision but only a self that stands for it. But when you do, don't just think. You also have to feel it with your heart.

Make the new year a time to travel life, use it to touch people, and wake up each morning with the hope that when night comes, the only things you will bring with you in your dreams are only love, kindness, joy and happiness. This is the life that I wish for you, my favorite and beloved self.

Always here,

Alec

Random: Finally!

2008-12-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

Google: Ladlad, An Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing

Me: Bought the book, got lost, bought again...

Google: Ladlad 2, An Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing

Me: Duh! it's my bible...

Google: Ladlad 3, An Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing

Me: There is?

Google: It was launched last December 3.

Me: Oh, just this month.

Google: Idiot! December of last year, '07!

Me: Really, you're just kidding me right? Let me ask Wikipedia first.

Wikipedia: A big YES!

Me: Where's the nearest bookstore?

Me would like to thank google.com, wikipedia.com and http://eatingthesun.blogspot.com
for enlightening me of this wonderful discovery.
After 12 years of waiting(make that 11 for those who knew),
the 3rd installment of my favorite gay themed
book is finally here.

Kudos to Danton Remoto and J. Neil Garcia whose
photo appears on top. I love you!

Cruising - First Time Series>>>

2008-12-26T08:01:00.001-08:00

The all-new Ladlad 3: An Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing,

edited by Danton Remoto and J. Neil C. Garcia.

Cruising

: to search (as in public places) for a sexual partner. b: to go about the streets at random but on the lookout for possible developments.

Tell me bout the last time you went out to
look for sexual partners and I will not
listen. But tell me about that very first
time you cruised for boys and I am yours.

Though it's Christmas, I refuse to write anything about it. What I will I do instead is to share to you the very first time I went out to cruise for someone to fuck my ass.

That was six years ago, I was underage and was still in high school. That time, I only had one gay friend, who unfortunately was on denial. So, I had no choice but to cruise alone. Then I found myself along B&^i@cio St., outside a beauty parlor seating just beside a stall of a sidewalk vendor.

It was the perfect place I thought. A block away is a school and across the street is a jeepney stop. And yes, I wasn't wrong. Within a few minutes of waiting, I spotted a beautiful prey just some steps away from where I am seating. I starred at him and he starred back. Our eyes meeting each other signaled what we both want.

He introduced himself as university student and that he was out to meet a friend to borrow some cash (hint?). The conversation went along until we found ourselves inside some cheap inn a couple of blocks away and the rest was history.

Before I end this little sharing let me include in this post a poem written by Rody Vera whose work was included in a book entitled 'Ladlad2, an Anthology of Philippine Gay Writing' edited by J. Neil Garcia and Danton Remoto.

Tip sa Paghahagip

Kapag biglang kumabog ang pusong
Namamanglaw
Sa asiwang lugar (sa loob ng bus, halimbawa)
Dahil namataan mo ang bigoteng
Matagl mo nang pinangarap; hindi malago,
Hindi rin inahit, bagong tubo;
Magpalipad ng isang sulyap -
Pero mag-ingat!
Huwag gaanong madiin
Baka mapansin
Ng maraming ibang mahilig ding
Umungkat ng lihim.
At baka kung lumabis
Ang sulyap ay maging
Malamig na titig
At baka siya'y magulat
Mabagabag, malito, mabuwisit.
Huwag din namang
Gaanong pino at baka rin di magising
Ang puso niyang naiidlip.
Suwabe, bigla ngunit malambing!
Para isang maamong tapik,
Mapagbirong pitik,
(Matamis na halik...)
At kapag napukaw
Ang kanyang antuking damdamin,
Kapag sigurado
Nang ikaw ang laman
Ng maulap niyang kamalayan
Sa susunod mong sulyap

Sabayan mo ng isang
Di sinasadya,
Medyo nangingimi,
Ngunit pinakamaganda mong
Ngiti.

Random: Too Early???

2008-12-23T03:50:00.000-08:00

My boss, with his ever charming smile up on top, is the son and also the Chief-of-Staff of the current House Speaker of the Congress. For three months now, I am working under one of his television shows as the head writer. Aside from writing, my job includes being physically present during location shoots and also during post production.

I'm under paid. And my skin color is getting darker and darker from the constant outdoor shoots. The only consolation that I get is the easy access to community boys and my boss's hunky body guards. And just like what they say: Simple things make you happy (translated to Filipino: May Pera sa Basura).

Random: Free-fall

2008-12-18T08:20:00.000-08:00

I hate it. I spent the whole day thinking over and over the right words to say when I had to face him the other night. And I hate it. I hate myself for being silent all throughout the night. Perhaps I could do more practice for me to throw out those lines or some super extra mega heavy dose of courage might help. How could I not tell him what I feel? About him, about me and about us. Why do I keep on smiling when I with him when all the while I've been troubled with what I feel.

But sometimes it comes to my mind that what I feel does not really matter to him. Maybe, this illusion of a promising love story only exists in my part of the river and eventually would never come true.

Or maybe what I need to do is to face the fact that all along, I knew that there was nothing special between the two of us. Just a couple of uncommitted paid sex and nothing more.

Random: Little Discoveries

2008-12-14T08:22:00.001-08:00

These past days, I have noticed that I'm more creative. Well just today, for the lack of something productive to do, I made a vector image of myself. After two hours of carefully digesting the online tutorial on how to do it, I finally came up with this pale and messy version of my beautiful self.

<<< If the Price is Right, Boy Toy Series

2008-12-12T22:32:00.000-08:00

The Pink Community in the Philippines, in my opinion, contributes a big portion in the country's annual GDP. However, my claim may fall short with the standards of an economist. But, as an active member of the midnight society who spends a considerable amount of money to meet, date, flirt and have sex with men; I could not help but believe in what I am saying.

The computation is easy. Recall the amount you have spent for/to men throughout the whole year. This includes mobile phone credits credited either to you or your particular guy, transportation expenses for both of you and your guy, food expenses for the all the parties involved, movie tickets, grocery items, clothing expenses; or if you're one big spender don't forget the tuition fees, or the monthly house amortization for your guy which includes the electric, water, cable, phone and internet connection bills. Plus, don't forget the daily/weekly/monthly allowance or the per-appearance fee and also the motel bills. Sum everything up and multiply it with the number of homosexuals residing and/or has recipients(remittance) in the Philippines. And mind you, the amount is shocking.

Well, it's both a sad and inviting truth, that men are very willing to engage into homosexual activities for monetary benefits. They're everywhere. We can find them in the streets, in schools, in malls, in churches and even in hospitals and funeral homes. All hungry for pleasure and money. And here we are, beautiful creatures all prepared to run in the nearest ATM for cash.

Hmmm.... I wonder if we could lobby in both houses of the congress and the senate a bill for tax exemption. We are, in the first place, the unrecognized factor of economic revival and the unsung heroes of needy handsome men. Swipe that.

Random: Love

2008-12-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

I have a confession. I'm in love. I'm madly in love with someone I met only a few times and consistently had sex with on each occasion. Crazy, but I'm in love. . .

Pornolicious - First Time Series >>>

2008-12-08T23:42:00.000-08:00

The theme was Arabian Nights. The mood became more festive with beautiful naked women on a room with a comparable sexy man seating on a gold chair in a kingly get-up. Along with the music the women slowly undressed the man until they reached the point of the great revelation. It was big and so alive but only on tape.

At six, I got my first taste of an x-rated video material courtesy of my most beloved Dad. Yes, for a Filipino family who works very hard to preserve traditional Christian Values, it's the most unlikely event to happen. But just like what I usually tell my friends, my Dad always tries to see the world on a different angle.

To my nuclear family my Dad is like a bad religion. I grew up with people around calling my Dad as a pervert, alcoholic, insensitive, gambler, unfaithful, porn addict, corrupt, bastard and a big mistake. Well, it seemed like the clan has staged an organized hate-your-dad campaign.

But when I was a child, I really did not get their points. He was a happy person with a smile always glued on his face. He was very gently with his kids. Never raised his hands not even his voice towards us. He may look the regular macho guy, but I can sense that deep inside he is very fragile.

I don't want to sound very nostalgic but I really miss the days when he would bring us to the park every Sunday. I miss that feeling of the wind touching my skin whenever he takes us along in his motorbike. I miss the times when he would eat donuts with us. Strange but he's more like a brother than a Dad to us.

He may have other women and got some of them impregnated but I never felt abandoned. He drinks a lot, that's true, but never in front of us. He may have developed some bad habits but still he's my Dad, the perfect Dad.

Now, he's somewhere in Japan. Working and at the same time enjoying his life. I'm sure he's looking forward coming home and to be with us.

<<< BoyStruck, Boy Toy Series

2008-12-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

My Prince came for me last Saturday night. Apparently, he's in town again for some official monkey business. He looked very happy that night. Well, who would not? After being stuck in his lonely island for two weeks, he finally had the chance to visit his princess.

I still could not forget the thrill the last time we were together. Early dawn, we were on a chariot sailing along the sleepy streets of the city. While on the ride, he kept on telling me to hold tight while grabbing my hands and putting it around his torso. And so I did. I held him tight, closed my eyes and wished for the night not to end. But even a princess can not have all the things she wants. My Prince has to go and the princess has to wait for his return...

However, unlike any other fairytale our story is not written in a colorful book.

When I first met him, my Prince Charming was not wearing a shining armor. There were even no dragons nor a wicked step mother involved. It's the most unromantic 'Once upon a time' ever, if you'll ask me. Even until now, I refuse to believe that I met my Prince along a dark alley under a tree in the middle of the night upon the arrangement of my silly Fairy Godmother.

No magic spells, no genie to grant wishes, no glass shoes, not even a sight of the seven dwarfs but my Prince brought extreme happiness to me. The feeling is very different, it's like the excitement one feels seeing a star fall down from the heavens.

Just like our other dates, we try to keep it secret. We have made a pact to meet in our little hidden kingdom somewhere downtown. A one room ghetto with two beds and an old magic mirror. In that small room we let go of ourselves. Two strangers trying to make most of their borrowed time.

Little by little, I have come to know and understand my Prince better. The pages of his life may be thick and full of footnotes, but I'm not in a hurry. I'll cross my fingers for this one and hope for that time when I can say, 'and they live happily ever after'.

Random: Christmas Party!!!!

2008-12-07T04:28:00.000-08:00

The Philippines has the longest Christmas Season. It starts in September and ends sometime in mid-January of the next year. Parties are held everywhere. From school classrooms to street parties. Without doubt, it's the time of the year when people are very happy.

Come December 22, me and my friends w ill be having our own Christmas Party at Grand Men Seng Hotel along Magallanes St. This year' s theme is Hollywood Groove. For inquiries, please contact Ace at 09178220223.

Puppy Love - First Time Series >>>

2008-12-02T06:49:00.000-08:00

Relocating from the city to the province was hard. And hearing the dreadful news a day before we have to leave was a lot harder. At the age of 8, I have to get away from the fast city life and get used to a more simple provincial lifestyle under the care of my mom's sister.

It turned out that they had everything taken cared of months before my parents' left for abroad. They had fixed my cousin's old room for my own private use. Had all of my things moved from the city to the province. And got me enrolled in a school a distance away from my aunt's house.

My mom then kept on telling me that it was the wisest option they had that time. But the truth is, no one else dared to take care of me but my aunt alone. With plenty of choices in my hand, there's no other way out but to follow my parent's decision: to live with my aunt's family and to continue my education there.

Ateneo de Bundok University, School Year 1995-1996

The first lesson I learned on my first day at my new school is to never put your expectations too high. The disappointments may come a little devastating for you.

I don't know if it's true for all but as a young city brat I already have developed sensitivity on several issues such as security and health. And seeing the look of my new school, the rusty open gate that welcomes all and the filthy kids running all over the place, one thing came into mind. Am I at the right place, I asked myself.

My classroom was located on the first floor of this old two-story wooden building. Upon reaching the door, my teacher ushered me inside the classroom. She found a vacant seat for me in the middle row. Beside me, a fat girl whose way of introducing herself was forcing me to sign on her 'slam book'. I refused. Period.

My new classmates may look smelly but with the perfect breathing technique I managed to survive. They were very friendly and also very God fearing. During recess time, almost all of them would insist to share their snacks. With my perfect introduction," (in excellent english) Hi, I'm &^*%, I'm from the city", I was an instant celebrity.

Just like what I did in my old school, I flaunted my homosexuality. Always coming to class smelling good, with a well pressed uniform and a neatly combed hair. While all the boys were playing under sun, I would prefer to stay inside the room to tidy my desk. I was a big hit with my girl classmates. They would always follow me around with their unending questions 'bout how it was living in a big city.

Weird, but I started to like my new student life. Who would not? The spotlight was on me.

Boy meets Boy

Remember F.L.A.M.E.S? That popular noontime teen show back in the 90's. Whoever was the creative genius behind that show, a great thanks to you.

No, I was not part of that show. But it pressured millions of young elementary school children to find among themselves a love team. There is even a game devised for one to find that 'perfect match', a sort of LOVE CALCULATOR.

The game's easy to play. In one of the pages of your SIBIKA at Kultura book, write in your name and your partner's name. Cross out all similar letters that can be found in both your names. Tally each crossed out letters. Use the result to identify the corresponding meaning in the word F.L.A.M.E.S. But thanks to technology, the game can be played online already.

I was not a big fan of the game not until my fat girl seatmate wrote my name and this boy's name on the board for everyone to see. The game was done and according to the result, we would have a happy M-arriage. And that boy became my property.

Wendell was the alpha male of the class. Compared with my other male classmates he has better looks and his brain nerves more aligned. In short, he was the best guy the class can offer.

That time, I was really not sure if he sincerely liked me, or was he just polite enough to play the rules of the game. Whenever the class would tease us, he would just return this very cute smile and slowly turn his head towards me. Cloud nine.

Well, nothing sexual really happened between the two us. Just some sweet moments together when he walked me home a couple of times. And I could still remember that unexplainable feeling when would always volunteer to help me whenever my homeroom teacher would give me tasks. Too bad, I was too young then to know the entrancing possibilities.

The setup continued for quite some time until it faded out together with the popularity of the game. Four years came to fast and I have to move back to the city for high school after graduation. The last time I saw Wendall was during our graduation and after that I lost contact with all my classmates including him.

Fast Forward 9 Years

One time, I was online trying to finish my thesis paper for college when I received a message containing a link to a social networking site popularly known as Friendster. The link directed me to a personal account which belongs to none other than my old time crush, Wendell.

I learned through our exchanged of messages online that he also moved out of the province after grade school graduation. He went to a school in a town an hour away from mine. Unfortunately, though he knew that I moved back to the city come high school, he didn't have the resources to reach me. He was busy with school and came only to the city a few times. He told me that during one of his visits a few years back, he met my younger brother in a mall and handed a paper containing his contact details. When I asked my brother about it, he thought that it was not that important and he had the note misplaced somewhere. Blood Pressure rising.

Just last Christmas break, I gave my aunt a visit for a few days. When it was time for me to return to the university, I decided to take the bus instead of bothering my uncle to drive me to the city. I was lucky that I was able to catch the first bus out. I climbed up the bus and spotted a seat in the middle part of the bus. When I was about to take my seat, I suddenly heard someone calling out my name. When I looked down, it was Wendell. He was seated just across the aisle.

We gave each other the casual 'hi' and 'hello'. He was with his family and they were on their way the city to attend a wedding. Shy at first but gradually letting each other catch up with the nine years of no news about each other. With all our chit-chats the three hour ride was the shortest ever.

After that incident, whenever he would come to the city, we would always see each other for dinner. On one occasion, he introduced me to his friends and also to his girlfriend. I don't know if they knew 'bout how our (me and wendell) arrangement was back in grade school. But I'm sincerely happy that I got the chance to meet Wendell after so many years.

Still, nothing sexual happened between the two of us. Perhaps, we're better off being friends. One time, when I asked him about how we were during grade school, he just kept quiet for about a minute or two then turned his head towards me and gave me his signature smile - like a time machine.

<<< Boy Toy Series

2008-12-02T01:25:00.000-08:00

Was there a time in your life wherein you had fun collecting something? These might be items related to your childhood like baseball cards, dolls, toy guns, Starwars collectibles, etc.. Or the more luxurious collection of jewelries, bags, shoes, etc..

Most people collect something in their lives without even having the slightest thought that somehow they can be called 'collectors'. The photos you keep inside your wallet or souvenir items displayed in your room from all your holiday trips are just some simple examples of a collection.

For someone to religiously collect one particular line of item, there must be strong fundamental reason/s to bring about such a behavior. And these fundamental reasons overpower even practicality and logic. For example, happiness obtained from the collection overcomes the issue of lavishness.

However, there is no limit to what has been, or might be collected. They can be both living or non living things. And as what this blog suggests, this particular series, my Boy Toy Series, will contain the men of my life. My collection of men and my experiences of lust, desire, urges, wantonness, fetishes, heartaches, frustrations and carnality. But also the happiness, joy, excitement, pleasure, bliss, vivacity, hope and love - that they -my men- brought to my life.

So stay tuned-in.

First Time Series >>>

2008-12-01T18:03:00.001-08:00

We all have our own series of first time experiences. You might have not forgotten the thrill of your first plane ride or the embarrassment when you peed in your pants back in primary school.

But there are those experiences that you treasure most - and most of the time kept secret. Hidden in our inner-selves. Memories so vivid that they sometime give us a feeling that they never existed. Fantasies which we never thought could happen.

When I was young, about the age of 3 0r 4, I had this repeated memory of a boy in his teens. And since this happened many many years ago, I could not put into detail this seemingly weird moment of my childhood life. All I can remember is, I was on a room 0n a bright afternoon with this boy. He had put on the television while lying on the bed wearing nothing. The fact that he was naked did not bother me much. But what caught my attention was the noticeable hair just on top of his sexual organ.

Just like what any other kids will do, I stared at his naked body since I was not so sure of what I'm seeing. After a few minutes, he noticed the blank/curious look of my face that he called me to join him in bed. Being an obedient kid that I was, I climbed up in bed and sat beside him. And that was my first time seeing up-close the pubic hair.

I didn't know what happened after. Was I able to touch his organs? I really don't know. Perhaps he was just masturbating while watching x-rated materials.

I know, even with my young and innocent memory, that the incident did not only happen once but also on a few other occasions.

It was only a few years back when I came to realize that that boy in my memory happened to be Kuya Gerry, my half-brother, who at that time was about 13-15 years old. I've learned from my older cousins that one summer, he came to live with us even with the my mom's protest. And he and I had to share the same room.

My Kuya Gerry is the first son of my father to a woman he met before he married my mom. Although my mom knew that my dad already has a son to another woman she still decided to marry my father. They all thought that the arrangement would work out just fine. But a few years after the marriage my mom's apathy towards my half-brother started to show. And so, like what we see in tv, my brother has to pack his things and move out.

I really think that my Kuya Gerry and I were not given enough time to get to know each other that well. When he had to move out of the house, it took years before we crossed path again. He went to live with his biological mother while I have to relocate in the province when my parents started working abroad. The distance plus the indifference my relatives felt towards my half-brother were enough to suppress news about each other . When I had to go back to the city for high school, it was only then that we started seeing each other again. But this time, with his wife and kids.

He is now happily married and already has two kids. When he goes to visit us, he would always carry a galon of ice cream. Maybe by chance he remembered me when I was still a kid, screaming to death when I could not get my cone of dirty ice cream.

Telling this story to you now makes me want to visit him some of these days. Just to check how he and his family is doing. We may have different mothers but still he is my kuya, my brother. And I'd like to know him more.

UNSATURATED FAT, a healthy choice

2008-12-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

I really had a hard time thinking of a possible name for my blog. For a moment, I thought of giving it an ordinary name. A name which people could easily remember (eg. myname.blogspot.com, thoughts.blogspot.com and even hearts.blogspot.com). But somehow, I managed to realize that those names would scare all my readers away.

About an hour after, while staring at my computer screen, I suddenly remembered how my friends, both old and new, react when I'm inside their eye frames. In unison they would say --- 'yuck, you've grown fat!!!'

Then came the idea, UNSATURATED FAT. Just a perfect name for my blog. Since I'll be blogging about the men in my life, Unsaturated Fat would serve a healthy choice for a blog name.

'Coz men are just like fat. Sure, they do taste irresistibly good but just be cautious of what they bring.

This place is for and about them. The men who made me fat, inside and out. Enjoy!